I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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