Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
