i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
