Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Randomize
