she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
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