Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
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this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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