my soul wont recognize me after tonight
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
