i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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