Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
