Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
It's official drugs can't kill me
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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