When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
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