I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
