The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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