Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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