i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
These tits shall not be calmed
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
