i would punch a child for taco bell
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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