I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
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