I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
