gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
