yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
