Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
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