The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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