Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize
