Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
