This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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