Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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