Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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