the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
now i know why i became what i already was.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Randomize
