dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
