he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
