This is not my ceiling
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
