just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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