weddingsv make me drug and hornr
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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