i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize