how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Randomize
