Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
