My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I just blew my weed a kiss
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
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