i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
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I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
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I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
is that a dick in a sweater?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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