Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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