Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
