My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Randomize
