Fine. I'll sleep in my office
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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