If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
