Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
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