butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
