my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
