so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Randomize
