He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
