She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
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