you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me