so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.