i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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