it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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